I’ll be whole again….

Don’t know what happened. I laid down in my dark, quiet room to go to sleep. I was tired, but I ended up staring towards the ceiling. Slowly, I couldn’t help but see her face. I couldn’t help but think of the past, the present, and the future. I couldn’t contain myself, I almost lost it.

Trying to maintain my composure, tears began to roll down my face. I tried to think of the positives, tried to visualize what my life is going to be like when this torture is over. But then it came back. Her haunting face came back with a vengeance and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. The tears intensified and I was full on sobbing and crying.

She’s still in my system. In my blood, A blood I refuse to let run cold with vengeance or revenge. Hurt will do that to you. It’s an animalistic  instinct. When an animal gets hurt or attacked, it goes into defense or attack mode. Believe me, at first it was like that. Felt like a caged animal that was ready to strike when the door opened. Do I still feel that way at times? Yes. But I know that’s not the right way. It’s not the right thing to do.

Patience, and the will to move on not worrying about the other person is what we need to put into practice. What I need to practice. We also have to keep in mind that with every action there is a reaction, what you reap you will sow, and what goes around comes around.

So let’s try to worry about ourselves and how we are going to make our lives better, using a good, happy life as revenge. The wound will close eventually. We will be whole again…

“Give a man enough rope and he’ll hang himself.”

Now Playing: “Mudshovel” by Staind

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2 thoughts on “I’ll be whole again….

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